Monday, June 27, 2011

113215

You are the worlds best everything
You have a way with me, because you can
You make me feel much more than a man, you make me feel alive inside
You are my world, she is my universe
Beaten down by what you need, my thick skin sheds away.
It's eating me like cancer
But I love every moment I have to cherish with you
Meet me in montauk, I'll be the one with your name written in ink more permanent than life
Maybe you can catch me stare in to your covered eyes, and find fluorescent patterns in your beautiful smile
You are persistent, like the tides as they steal our names from the leaves, I sit here in 113 looking for something to hold onto that makes me feel half as alive as you
My life with you was too quickly faded as the alarm clock flares,
And the words on my chest are painful as I stare into your eyes, and know its me that's waiting for sunlight to approach your veins

Friday, June 17, 2011

Wish - Pointing The Hole In The Sky

storm the grounds, mad as cows, diseased, and ready to die
enjoy every second of it, as this is truly our last shot at being everything
becoming our whole hearted ghosts.
you say we are so much more than flesh and bone,
we are so much less than gifts
we are barely donations

looking for something to answer all of the questions that you raise
my nerves never felt so isolated
so something familiar found its way through the fair grounds
I bleed in line with your queue path
looking down on myself,
I feel quaint and ire that I have become a subject of my own losses
every battle fight is lost - it must be my french blood line
through every path we walk we look at the same sky asking for answers

my mirrors don't reflect the same person I know I am
I feel lost and weightless
we died here on the same place we saved our selves

you push me far away, I just wish you'd pull me closer
my death is to be found restlessly undiscovered at present time though my soul
embodies everything that I put my useless fingers on
though you may wish for hope,
you can only hope for a miracle
so I shoot right past you and pray for your life to change
as a mess I find myself quite organized in a situation where I am ready for sleep

I am afraid you have tried to mine more gold than I have
hoping you'd find yourself some kind of fortune
all that I can give you is gravel
as light has never seen this time, walk through streets of detailed destruction
become of us what has become of this city,
well placed, put together and functioning.
but what if you leave?

This is Death, Oh Sun, Dance Us Away

where we phase into some form of guilt
oh sun, dance us into a different stage of being
who cares anyway? aren't we all just ghosts?
some form of illusion painted by someone else's brush?
why are the bristles stuck on the canvas?
our portrait was painted in pain.

if I could make you something you want to be, I would
I am wounded, with scars so deep, you can see my fear
you are gone, I am only hoping to save a breath.
capture the moment you left, and hold it in place.
something tells, describes to me, that this is death,
and worse than life itself, never ending, everlasting
infinity is four and less than three
we are three now.

who watches the clouds fall from the sky?
why is there nobody to pick up my feet, as I try to find myself?

Monday, June 6, 2011

Think of It as You

I believed in this relationship between you and I
as more than some short fling that could fall apart over anything
I choked back tears and held back fears and gave it my all
I look in your direction with a sense of accomplishment
this is just like you

I felt so much stronger
and you broke me down, you tore it out of me
you gave up everything you wanted
you said this was worth it

and now you feel so much worse
than I could ever hope for, and I'm sorry, I just can't make more
I give you everything that I can, but at the bottom of the pot
theres hardly anything left

I give and you take, you give and I never noticed before
how much this is, so much more
you are everything I could have ever wanted
if I ever wanted anything at all

this week in June, it feels so soon
this year in life, time goes by
and all I ever wanted
was nothing I could ever have dreamed of

vividly and wildly you sing me to sleep
I risk it all every night for you
and if you don't believe me
think of it as you

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Mostly, Dreams Don't Come True

In days, life changes faster than you can count
we pace the corridors, hoping for progress,
rushing the horses out of the gates, maybe they should not
forgive the trees for the sap that leaks out, after all, who can one be to control it?
the parasites are digging up all the dirty tricks in the evening news, and my story is left out
maybe for some, a true guess at what was said was, a shot in the dark, in the mid noon sun
after shorting a long whiles misguided walk, a one sided conversation is easier to find than a double eagle
most days end up the same, while one night sessions in a local bar with my head against a bottle is less recurring than most likely necessary, may I pray for a rain cloud in this overheated death ray of a day
I do not ever change fast enough for the machine, returns are finding their way back in line again the line a man sets out on a table,
in fear I walk through the flames that lick at my lungs, with soot and a feeling of fresh air, my dying test of madness asks me to make an ass of myself, so curiously, I remain hidden in a fortress made of hair dryers and false teeth, maybe for the fact that the one and only true thing is the missing heart, then we know retirement from a present day more human than one can believe profession has stranded me heartless and confessing my only true secret,
that my only daunting task now is to turn back all the clocks and remove the nails, to clean up the decisions I've made, and realize that dreams don't come true







I am in a different state of mind than usual, and I hope this challenges what some people call and consider mind altering, because if it makes sense to many people, than I know many people are losing it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

When I Fell Asleep

all the time has passed that led us here
next to one other night after night
and nothing has made me this happy in my entire life
like a child on their first ride I started off scared, but now
I never want this to end

when I fell asleep you sat on my minds corner waiting for it to get off work
eventually; you left because I had to stay longer,
with as low my mind was blowing, my heart was casually a casualty
you are the sweetest thing I ever have had

the snow had fallen for me, as I had fallen for you
so hard I shattered when I came to earth and realized this could work
and just as quickly you made me melt
my heart in your hands; nowhere else could have been safer

when I fell asleep, I only saw you
like a pleasant ghost, you were everywhere
and I never felt more of a man
my life turned to gold

the flowers bloomed freshly
and in bundles you would get them, and as they glanced back
you knew it was love

in phrases you would try to tear it down to find an underlying cause
and you asked me one of your ever so famous questions
why me?

without hesitation all I had to say was
because when I woke up, you were my dream come true

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Carry Me: Hold Me: Waiting

restless, today went according to no plan that I know
when the flames were ignited, my greatest fears were excited
and then you eventually had to leave
my restless mind couldn't stand knowing you were gone
fingers tapped, my tears kept falling
and as I waited for you to come home,
I decided to leave
with no clouds in the sky, it was raining today
and my legs were sore from keeping you from running away
I gave up hope that you were sick from being gone
maybe I'm wrong, but I hope you feel just fine
you are every lyric I have ever sung, you can still be mine
before I realized how much I love you,
I knew how much I hated myself
to be honest, you are the only smile I wear
so wait for me at the alter,
because you deserve to know that if I ever forget where you are
then I was too occupied trying to discover you all over again
just hold me, because I fall apart when you are gone
and what remains of me after nights like this is what you can craft
I will always know you
as the one who stole from me, the first thing you ever gave me
in a swift round with my chest on the ground I peered into your eyes
and saw the sunflower fields that kept all the evil away from me






-Jessica I love you with all my heart, and I never want to see you sad. You make me who I am.