My Perfect Victory

post this part, I listen to you but I can't hear you speak
you hit me a hundred times before I tried to hold you back
the siren's were red and blue and so were we
I wanted this to stop before it ever began, but my heart is anxious,
like the bird on my chest, it left early but never found it's way back home

and so now, I sit here, knowing who I have to be, and who I have to become;
all I want is love, something I'm afraid I will never have again
but I know I love fear through these eyes;
madly, deeply and true to you I was,
I knew it was just a matter of time

and you will know,
I left the light on for you,
you live in the darkness so you can't see what you're missing;
those roses died, and all but one will never see the light of day-
but it's so cold in that room.

and together, I can allow you to be happy on your own terms;
I miss my life I once had;

I'm just an empty void;
a few girls now want me to be their temporary write off;
and three days into it; they all give up; move on; meet someone without all the strings attached
someone who cares, who won't ever leave, who won't be me;
I'd like to know- what burns your fuel? Are you a jet that has stayed put, awaiting me to get on board with you to your unknown trip to the edge of the universe?

I just want to meet you;
I just want you to see -
the person you're afraid I'm going to be

and through these mad eyes, I'm still crying for someone to be the you I thought I had;
my perfect forever