If It Matters After All

if it matters after all
then what am I still writing to you for?
I can go about writing the same cliche words down
but how much would make it through?

if it matters after all
then can I go about saying you are poison?
how much smoke can I blow before I start to see your
perspective?

if it matters after all
then you should go first and say what matters now

if it matters after all
then these words don't matter now

When Forever Ends

First of all, before you read this, this poem is most likely the most important one I've written of all that I have ever. The meaning behind it all is deep in my heart, so don't think of this as just another poem.

there walked the sky, falling down a step or so
it chose this suitcase because it found it fitting to carry
there walked a guy, falling down a step or so
broke his ankle and dropped his self esteem

a day came without a clear sky, blue and silver
as a white blanket covered her to keep her warm
a minute flew by and without a clear reason why, she was blue and silver
she saw him for the first time, dropped her jaw and froze up

time went on and on that first night, if you want to call it first impressions,
they had something more impressing
when she asked him for a few minutes
he said "until I can hear no more words from your lips"

under the impression that this is ever lasting, they stole the towns heart
for what was evident was bulk and consuming their energy
while they were in each others premises neither could sleep
she said "when forever ends"

the coincidental slip up came in a matter of minutes, as he saw one stone fall
from above, dropping from the sky no matter they were falling like stones
"when forever ends?" he asked
only the sky determines when forever ends

almost in love, their pillows became their enemies
and their houses turned into prisons
marked the time in books, there was time for a different day
but not with you in mind, there was no time for a different life

love is like the antidote to life
if without it you can't live, then you need it
but when forever ends, what is life?
if without it you can't live, then you need it

you could always regret it afterward, but in reality I swear,
we will make through this in time
I loved this town for the both of you
but I had to leave this life for without you, forever remains unsolved

she said birds and bees, I said love it while its there
when forever ends, where will you be?
I said I would sail there for you, but I'm not going anywhere without you
she said I will be there for you, but I'm not going anywhere without you

and suddenly, like a falling bird, who has lost ability to use his reflexes
I'm falling without you, and I will hit the rock bottom unable to recover
suddenly I am no longer looking forward to tomorrow
I'm just hoping that when I'm in your arms, is when forever ends.

Expellation of My Deepest Fears, Combustion of the Busted Fenceline

I guess I missed my window of opportunity

I had to figure out it was not her fault after all

when I tried to be a man

I swallowed every last bite of my fear

oh if I am just a boy, then let me out to go play

but if I am just a man, then take me out of the day

because who would've thought that you would stay?

my fathers opportunity to share it with me, was

seconds too late

when I got on that plane, I never came back home

when he missed me, I never could get back home

if I am just a boy, and nothing else, then at least I have time to figure

out this bad dream

but I am just a man, and something else, this is becoming the worst

nightmare one could ever see

I grew up by a few feet and yet my feet stayed cemented on the grounds

that the best communication is regarded as disapproval.

I grew up about a few feet away from here and painted my name in the cement

just to communicate with the ground

I am here today without a trace of doubt in my mind that tomorrow will take

a breath away,

but I breathe knowing that my breath is held back by my subconcious's palm

blazed by the temperature of this conversation she put out the fire in my heart

but with it dampened it can not come back on

I am just a black hole sucking in everything that comes my way

wait until you see what I expel

Someone I Relied In

it took some guts to come this far
and the words that you showed me were mistaken
the baby blue shirt that you moved away from my hands
and our backs sat there while our mouths made love

and I could have thought for a moment that I was safe in this cabinet
but I threw you aside the china and tore your back up with a nice piece of
glass

with out a shower to use, a second seemed to be a minute
and we made out like bandits
the baby blue sky dimmed to purple haze, covered by black clouds
and our backs just sat there while our mouths made love

regardless of how far you could toss me, I was outside of your zone
nothing could stop us, not even the phone

it wasn't making love anymore, it was just kidding around
maybe somewhere else there would be a need for this kind of passion
but this car is speeding down a 15
and our backs just sat there while our eyes made love

holding on to your hands, the hatred for me slowly faded away
because we both know it was never worth it

if you could have seen the sky turn pink tonight in this galaxy
maybe somewhere else, from a telescope you would know why I have
started to fall asleep with your song in my head
and our backs just sat there while our hearts made out like bandits

like someone I relied in, your name was no longer a metaphor
I just had you backwards on the table

If Your Mother Was Here, What Would I Think?

she blows kisses in my direction
another fatal mistake I made
by believing that she was looking at me
it's the guy behind every time
and now must observe the floor
the gentle fold of her arms
telling me that everything is fine
was I just an opaque sheet of tears
to be worn with pride?
what a steady fall of leaves
she makes me change myself
and meet the ground just to stare at her wishing I was
where I use to be
so say you're sorry or not regretting
all the pain -
here it goes again
not collapsing correctly

And Then She Tells Me One Last Thing

before the sun comes back down, we have one last chance to arrive back home
so she says to me that this is just fine, the way that
it had been intended
because the last girl who treads in this watered down version of a heart
will at the end of the night, have left me here for granted, a much lesser of the man that had originally walked this way
now we share this ground as one technically connected in more ways than the average stranger
and what is stranger than that is who we've seen is yet to be what our fears led us away from
so tonight we will lay under the sorbus tree that has more feathers than that of the most graceful birds
we go together to somewhere further than any ideal will allot of our hopes
you will be told to hold my hand at the noctis moments of life
but I am a type of pill that holds no grudges and never lets go
and then she tells me one last thing
"I have no room for love in my heart"
and then she tells me she loves me, because I am the last one she can tell before she knows
I'll be the first one to reply the same

Ten Cats With Only Fourteen Legs [REVISTED]

we'll never walk through this city together
we'll never get to know what else is out there
you should have seen what we had back then
we should have known what had been planned out for us

your bed is our favorite place with our eyes focused on
what is going on in the television and not enough in between us
and yet you are everything stuck between us like kernel of popcorn
in desperate need of being removed

We spent our summer together and we missed
our chances to eat ice cream under the summer heat
and complain about how much we hate it
and where our parents went wrong on behalf of our aging process

We gave up the idea of spending time on the
shore and take a classical sundown picture
to sit and fight over who was right
when the sun went down neither one of us had a clue

if I could play make believe with you I will be who
you want me to be so I can just make you happier
and if I could make you smile then I will feel lighter
but then I realize your becoming the type of crane that floats away

I wish I wasn't always making you cry
some nights I hope that you don't give up
but I can't become the only one in your universe
and you can't be the only star on stage

I'm not saying that you aren't the greatest thing
I'm just saying that you aren't the only thing there

I just hope that we will act like we fell in love
in a bookstore, and we will feel like our smiles
are part of a face lift
but we both know that your blood runs cold most nights

if you wanted me to say it clearer
I won't ever forget our late night walks
but now you've got me paralyzed and I can't get back on my feet