If It Matters After All

if it matters after all
then what am I still writing to you for?
I can go about writing the same cliche words down
but how much would make it through?

if it matters after all
then can I go about saying you are poison?
how much smoke can I blow before I start to see your
perspective?

if it matters after all
then you should go first and say what matters now

if it matters after all
then these words don't matter now

When Forever Ends

First of all, before you read this, this poem is most likely the most important one I've written of all that I have ever. The meaning behind it all is deep in my heart, so don't think of this as just another poem.

there walked the sky, falling down a step or so
it chose this suitcase because it found it fitting to carry
there walked a guy, falling down a step or so
broke his ankle and dropped his self esteem

a day came without a clear sky, blue and silver
as a white blanket covered her to keep her warm
a minute flew by and without a clear reason why, she was blue and silver
she saw him for the first time, dropped her jaw and froze up

time went on and on that first night, if you want to call it first impressions,
they had something more impressing
when she asked him for a few minutes
he said "until I can hear no more words from your lips"

under the impression that this is ever lasting, they stole the towns heart
for what was evident was bulk and consuming their energy
while they were in each others premises neither could sleep
she said "when forever ends"

the coincidental slip up came in a matter of minutes, as he saw one stone fall
from above, dropping from the sky no matter they were falling like stones
"when forever ends?" he asked
only the sky determines when forever ends

almost in love, their pillows became their enemies
and their houses turned into prisons
marked the time in books, there was time for a different day
but not with you in mind, there was no time for a different life

love is like the antidote to life
if without it you can't live, then you need it
but when forever ends, what is life?
if without it you can't live, then you need it

you could always regret it afterward, but in reality I swear,
we will make through this in time
I loved this town for the both of you
but I had to leave this life for without you, forever remains unsolved

she said birds and bees, I said love it while its there
when forever ends, where will you be?
I said I would sail there for you, but I'm not going anywhere without you
she said I will be there for you, but I'm not going anywhere without you

and suddenly, like a falling bird, who has lost ability to use his reflexes
I'm falling without you, and I will hit the rock bottom unable to recover
suddenly I am no longer looking forward to tomorrow
I'm just hoping that when I'm in your arms, is when forever ends.

Expellation of My Deepest Fears, Combustion of the Busted Fenceline

I guess I missed my window of opportunity

I had to figure out it was not her fault after all

when I tried to be a man

I swallowed every last bite of my fear

oh if I am just a boy, then let me out to go play

but if I am just a man, then take me out of the day

because who would've thought that you would stay?

my fathers opportunity to share it with me, was

seconds too late

when I got on that plane, I never came back home

when he missed me, I never could get back home

if I am just a boy, and nothing else, then at least I have time to figure

out this bad dream

but I am just a man, and something else, this is becoming the worst

nightmare one could ever see

I grew up by a few feet and yet my feet stayed cemented on the grounds

that the best communication is regarded as disapproval.

I grew up about a few feet away from here and painted my name in the cement

just to communicate with the ground

I am here today without a trace of doubt in my mind that tomorrow will take

a breath away,

but I breathe knowing that my breath is held back by my subconcious's palm

blazed by the temperature of this conversation she put out the fire in my heart

but with it dampened it can not come back on

I am just a black hole sucking in everything that comes my way

wait until you see what I expel