Her Heart, Another Chance

Will we remain tonight?
Under the blistering cold,
We hesitate to believe we can be
When the wires are all that remain,
We will be so far gone

Who will tell us no now?
How do we ignore the signs?
All the mortar we bought goes to waste as we decide these bricks are useless;
We don't coincide.

Nothing left to estimate, these streets are never going to feel again.
And the sidewalks we paved will remain empty

We stay closed,
We stay close,
Because we know we can't carry on
Because you can't carry me;

The world and her weight on your mind;
All signs point you in a different direction,
It's her heart on the line, and another chance to break it

So when we decide you will be elated
To know the left side of your heart is under new management.

Living at Moat Cliff

We partition for a pardon from this practice,
And for as long as we live, we will never leave;

Our bones are breaking!
I swear I'm falling apart from the neck down -
Oh how sinful of me to have placed this tether around my neck,
And for I jumped I lost my courage to be alive,

What a curious thing these days bring us;
And we thought we could fly?
How insane could we actually be?
Oh through these eyes, I wish I could see -
But I'm departing with my conscience,

I see now why we feed off these waters -
How glorious it was to taste the words I emitted, without knowing what they said

I was never better off on my own,
I was never better off without you
(to keep me away from the cliff)

Hey Man, She Was Just A Flash in the Pan

Girls like you slither,
Go for the kill (you're in for the thrill)
But you keep your back from the world,
So you know we see it too!

Hey man, she was just a flash in the pan,
But dude - she was a flush in the bed;
Like a contagious song, she never leaves your head,

I'm here awaiting you to get your grip,
Because you are the one playing mind games,
When I'm done with you,
I'll leave behind a taste in your mouth you won't soon forget,

You look like you are praying,
Do you really bow down to a faceless man?
Maybe you should open your eyes and realize what's staring you in the face,
The biggest man in this town that would take you where ever you need I go,

So hop in for a spin around the world,
Girls like you can slither by,
I won't even ask why.

Damage

Fall for it,
Gravity lacks all use;

You have grown distant in the last words I say,
Do you believe me?

The damage is what I care about,
The tire tracks from here to your home town,
Well I was pulling you down;

Can't you see the words you have laid before your eyes? There is no solidarity here, there are no words to express again who I want you to see;

Mistakes made,
Lessons learned, will count for nothing when easily ending the beginning,
The damage was needed for us to see the future with cleared throats

Your Pretty Little Enemy Tomorrow

Things fell apart rather fast,
And I fear my days are numbered by then tens,
So if I die tomorrow then then last thing I would want you to know;

I never stopped loving you, just because I moved on,
Just because we barely got off the ground doesn't mean I never started loving you;
It's archival
If you were here now, I'd hold you until you became numb;
You have become confused as I,
Your lover today; your dreamer yesterday;
I'm afraid to see tomorrow because I hate myself for letting this happen

My secret was I love you enough to let you go
And now I will never hear from you again, or so I fear

Broken Boy and His Note Left Behind

Constant reminders;
I miss you, I miss you
You felt right here,
You fell right there;

I say this one last time;
I miss you, I miss you
You were right there,
Now I need to go back in time;

There is nothing left of me if not for this,
All I wanted is your lips,
So play pretend and recall who I am,
And you will know just where I am;
In a day so distant where things have yet to be like this;

You are who I feel,
When I feel motionless
A reverberated attack on the exit;
If you stop now,

You'll leave me just like you found;
Broken.

In, Out - Extraordinary At Saying the Right Things

Fake your lines, who do you think you can be?
Walk away when you knew who I was, you found yourself lost in confusion.

Well I guess I will never change,
I am nothing less than a human wanting to be something more than this

Where will I be tomorrow?
Will you try to return to my side?
Well I have no time for all this shit,
So walk away from me because I can't stand to see your face anymore

This is me, like it or not
I am never going to change

I think I am extraordinary at finding ways to change these past years and carry on

So carry me, carry me, carry me somewhere I have never been before

Lead Me Home

Maybe if you understood how hard I try to show you how much you could be,
Then maybe your shakes would fade away,
Maybe you'd say everything is ok;
But I can't stand to live in the past anymore, choose me now or be gone;
I need a new heart, this one has been destroyed one too many times;

Just lead me home now;
I need to sleep so I can keep up our love,
Because in my dreams you didn't give up so quick, you didn't think I was worthless;

Just lead me home now,
Because I need you now,
Because I need your warmth now;
My body is falling apart from the neck up,
I'm melting, you were the cold helping me survive these hard times,

Just lead me home,
I need to open the doors to you again,
So give me the time of day to show you who I am;

But you're leaving like everyone else.
Nice guys don't finish last, we die before we can even start
My heart can take a beating, somehow I've survived

When Waves Collide

Silent.
Tonight, I'm better.
I've done my praying for you,
Don't think for a second, I'm over you.
I just want you to know,
I understand what you are feeling.
My answers might be wrong,
But my heart is in the right place.
If you hurt tonight because of me,
Then I know we have a reason;
I'm honest and I give it my all;
There is a place for you here.
I'm strong because I know that I want it so bad,
I remain silent as you ask.
In my deepest of depths,
I will show you
That I've emerged.
Stronger.
You can depend on me to always be right there by your side,
Even if it is when you've had enough.

Grow Up

I want to be so much more;
It's so cold in here, while you are gone,

it doesn't perspire here within, but I exhume all of these words I had planned;

I break down when I see your face, knowing I couldn't keep you smiling,
These words are a contract in which I swear to you, we have something here,
some men will try to steal from me,
you and your golden heart,

I'm falling down this hole,
I needed to know that this was not you,
a demon, destroying who I use to be;
I carry determined torches, in hopes to burn myself alive,

I'd go the distance, you can't ever know,
just how much you mean to me,
you throw me away,

When all I want is to hold on

Familiar

It was eleven twenty eight,
More relevant than you'd ever know;

The Lord once told me
"boy you are only the man others make you out to be"

Abandoned; again,
If I'm supposed to love anyone then let me confide in you to know;
I'm giving up on myself now,

I see your face every time I open my eyes,

This pain is too familiar,

All I ask is you try
I can't hold my head above water for much longer;
I'm aware, you are annoyed;
I'm aware, you are confused;
I'm aware that you were the person who pulled me back up;

Are you aware that I have plenty to offer?
I'd give you every ocean so long as it would put me next to you again;

I'm falling apart again.
It's familiar.
Unfortunately.

Obligated

I'm just a burden to bury,
They say I'm not myself and it's all you to blame,
"I'm ever changing";
Declare your value I'm no child and I won't retain your scars,
I'm proactively adjusting my mindset to prove something to myself;
Keep blaming me for your anger, I'm the one to take the heat;
Even if it stops my heart in its tracks
I will keep changing these words until they turn you around;
On your back with your feet up so high did you think I was gonna be like everyone else and just fuck you over?
I just want to build you a huge castle and help you live a real life;
I'm realistic in my questioning why you feel so obligated to tear me down;
I'm bulletproof from all the times I've been killed, I'm an expert at death because living is the one thing I'm afraid to do;
So who am I to tell you that I've been falling for you?
Silence speaks louder than words, with phrases these ears are allergic to and never heard
So I'm obligated to you, devoted to the ground you walk on,
And I'd go any distance just to show you I'm ready to go places with you

Deep Within Absence

Loneliness is gripping me now,
It grabs me by the ways it finds me,
There's something about how long you have been absent that tears me apart;

I can't seem to find you in my arms,
When I was afraid to breathe all I thought of was how I needed you like a child needs their mother;
Or how a father needs his child,

I've been shaken time and time again,
But I refuse to break down,

You hands hold me by the heart;
I've become absent to my failures

Your Pretty Little Dreamer Today

Oh eyes so golden blue,
Looks to me with razors holding down the people in our town
You were a flavor we all hope to forget,
So vile and beautiful;
We don't know what picked us up;
Are broken hearts mended over time or are they replaced?
Her lips tell me what I want to hear,
And her body language is telling me it's time to jump off this building;
She says "just spend your arms love, and love will take you away"
I would dedicate my body as a memorial to the ground a thousand feet below me just to see if you'll be there to catch me,
How did I end up in your arms?
If you keep your word then we are going down together,
Make no mistake; your pretty little dreamer today has all the choices to make with only two rounds left;
So who will it be?
I'm sick of all the lies I've been told,
We jumped into this feet first, (it was only wet cement)
Are we leaving our marks or will we stick to the base we founded this city on?

Fireman

I should've looked through this burning rubble before,
Because now I see everything is gone and I'm rebuilding this tower I was enslaved in;
Like clockwork I'm drawing up schematics of who I want to be,

As fast as these words emerge,
You and I run our feet out of this fever dream,
This city has its back to us;
Oh so damn spineless as I'm falling for you (on you)

This is closed circuit so I can monitor the changes elapsing inside;
With tears of joy, how much more I try to change this life that I've fucked up,

You'll be me in a year down the road, lost in the fires that started burning ten years ago

I can take the heat,
I just want to get hot with it

One Hundred Recluses

Take these lines and consume them
Find it within yourself to become greater than everything that is ripping you vein to vain,
And step outside your ego to see the limbs you've been left with,
If you keep speaking, I will take those words and fold them on to your eyes;

Actions speak louder than words you wrote,
As I ripped it from those lying hands you called me beautiful at denying my rights

Contort yourself to fit in this box that hides us all;

Tonight it's over, I'm dead and gone,
I'm dead and gone,
I'm gone,
I've gone searching for you;
You're never here when I need you most

The Only Battles Worth Winning

Divulge,
you are the right calendar year,
the right eyes in wires,
you sleep in a place, so far away;
with out me there, but from here I will look -

In the last leg of my conscience, I make my own fate,
I chose to live under the trees that you fall from,
so I can watch you stay here;
You can keep the world away,
and I will always defend you;

my battleground,
my way out from this city,
long torn from this state to find,
our state of mind that was once lost;

this is the story and you are my chapter;
knowledge provided need to know -
we sit in glancing battles without lies or need;
its these lips at war for the heart you know of,

for so long, I waited,
I hope to never lose again.

Made For This

No sleep can hold me back;
No fears can slow me down,

I chose to dream;
I refuse to die,

I won't live this down,
I won't live this time around,

A quick action, marks these roads;
We are taking over these worlds,

You will say "you'll never look back or miss it at all"
And with vacancy, you lies paint these walls

Make me for you,
Reuse me this time again;

She abandoned me,
Seal this heart is my only plea.

Like A Feather, Like A Glacier

I'm always falling, at first brush
I sit in a quiet room and wait adequately -

float away from me, white and light;
you can escape this burrow you once embedded yourself in;
in a grasping moment, we refine who we define,
we've been slipping into ice, so cold, so hot, so long;

your eyes lose me in their quaint qualities;
I don't want to break your heart,
I want to hide within it and allow you to find me lost in you,
only in these dreams can we fix the broken;

I'm a changing glacier, with you diving from me,
as you kept me warm, I'm falling apart;
as you left me cold, I'm floating away,

I'm always sinking, at last touch,
I sit in these quiet waters, awaiting your return

Honestly

Nothing like you;
Avoid these whites, the lies you say,
Roll across your face.

If you think I am no one,
If you don't care about who I am -
Then walk away

Willingly I want to corrupt your broken life, give you meaning to live

Save you from the stars,
Get you closer to the seas,
You'll know it's honestly, because of me

So hold your heart, with a grip on reality
And know he's not worth it;
Honestly, you're better with me

A Mandatory Faith

In this land, we've been given the rights to believe in the same things; and outcasted if beliefs aren't such -
Just like love
Or the road home,
Someone wants you to be wrong;
The passion driven from their eyes, impale us;
How strong can we be?
Out there, someone like me needs a mess like you;
A mandate steals us tonight,
Forced lines; our veins we swallow,
This due in great vision
Call it off, call me out;
The fake fusion clears our drive tonight

A Stringent Count of Three

Loosely
I'll base jump with you around my neck
lets see how far down you let me go before you stop me in my tracks
the subway drove us up to the sedan,
we rode through these streets on benches and rails,
you lied about everything,
so you get the rope;
a bottle of poison and the electric chair;
you think I like playing this way?
how do you think I felt?

Loosely,
I gave you up for the moments glory in knowing I did it right

I'm not who I though I was,
You're not who I can be;
There's no heart in this chest,
The lock has been sealed; we've concealed time behind our backs;

And on a stringent count of three, I will call you and hang up before you get a chance to say hello,

I will go next door and miss my daughter,
Oh I will miss it all.
Count falling tears,
I'm falling apart
And I don't want you to realize I'm not worthy of saving

And Mending All Ties

I thought I was ready
Not for something,
I'm still recovering my identity

You hold the stream steady,
Not for me;
My timing was impeccable,

We both know I was holding on for dear life;
It was just time to let go

And mending all ties,
You'll see come the day
Why I packed up and left you behind;

It's all just to help push you forward,
My only effort to do best
So goodbye for now;

Airplanes land eventually
These trees eat us alive, so we burn through them to forget our lies
I'm fake, a store bought mannequin, dressed up to be a man

I am no man -
I am a selfish fool
Forget me

Left To Make Things Right

(original written in 2006)
- the multiple interpretations of the title on its own gives me reason to write this.

For my love;
Oh how loved they were,
And so swiftly they were brushed away

You quickly left; with nothing but a cup
These past affairs and broken homes,
No one lives here, as we buried souls under our constructions;

You came and left; behind with a trail of lust;
In the middle of love, I read I brush through dust

Find your way through these glass laden streets; question words so well lacking definition.

Rebuild. Retry. Relive.
In the border of conciseness, we find placement to appear correct
We appear; correct.

Welcome to the West

Oh I've been dragged out here,
Two holsters with your demise awaiting,
Oh how glorious it could've been, had you opened draw,
Welcome to the west, where the sand is hot and awaits this bloodshed,
A fever to believe, with blood rushing our head,
A few and far between,
Honestly, I'm throwing in the towel, filled with the sweat from our passing tremors
Run, down walk,
We are starving for attention now
We shoot for greatness
Knowing we have nothing of substance to hold onto;
Welcome to the west, home of the heartless and bullet cases,
Get used to the sounds of banging around here;
We are loosing count like a post office clerk,
Oh why I dragged you out here, to save you from the crossfire;
You are in everyones cross sights

Again, Against My Will, Again, Angst Sets In, For Seeking Out Your Destructive Fears

Sitting, corners on back
We lie when we lay,
Face down
We call it pillow talk, I call you
My nights end with the sun
If its off you seek, there are needles feeding these veins, hero
You want sleek with the textureless friction between us and broken bottles
Shouting out fictions, I've hated you since the day I walked into this cell,
My contraption conned me into belief, in the shower our shouting matches didn't collide, slip or matter,
With caution I speak slowly with performed audition lines, hoping you will line me up for your breakdown,
Tonight I'm broken by the barstool I use to sit on, abandoned.
You stole every feeling I regretted and burned it with a pacifire and legal tender
When you hoped I wouldn't care to notice, I walked through the doors to go through floors of your haunted part and life parted ways, thus lies that you wanted, are these lies you feel hopeless and centered by the spinning axle of feeling like a newborn separated from birth,
Torn into a thousand halves of the atomic purge God knew was only a selfish need as desires will devoure who we shall see in the mirror, we fall victim like the Romans in a battle for this city,
We rip and fold at the brim of this half empty glass,
And we were told to keep moving on, long after we buried our faces into the trees and streets we once floated above
No more angels, no more demons,
Just those who have gone home

Finally Found

If I've lost my touch with words,
These unique riddles then will hardly suffice,
If in the pretext I presume that you've counted the minutes away,
I relapse into this pile of drugs, to relieve myself from missing the young face I see once a week
You can hide but never run, so far away I've finally found someone who understands who I am, and who they are - the truth keeps marching on
The troops keep marching on,
And as painted silos keep us safe from vermin, we remain whole as we were
Can her laughs of excitement ever be mine in whole?
I've finally found myself lost for words to express how I want to just say, I love you.
I've finally found you, so far away, do you hear me when I pray?
I lose my footing, my sense of direction;
I lose my grip, my sense of place,
When I'm here awaiting your conscienceless body to awaken from a mist of worlds that play with knives to whittle away the remains of a soul that never ceded time;
This delirium never knows how to express the convey of ships my mind sets out to see; somewhere at sea, and I'm jogging my memory for days I'll never see; those past mine, in the Artic, it's twelve past nine;
Just a minute ago I needed someone to see; I needed you to save me
I've finally found you, now I just need to have her around me more to make myself fulfilled,
Lost?
You've lost, at last, the last list of lies to recall.

How Amazing Are We?

Forceful
Limp
Broken
Fixed

Flightless
Fightless
Straining
Restraining;

We walk with our heads pointed to the ground, and our feet to the sky;
The luminous night sky, our favorite conflict -
We could have been someone else, had it been those paths, where we were crushed.

It's a long, sad story how we came to be, with ghosts we never knew;
How long our eyes were longing for a spark, somewhere in a coffee shop;

Close your eyes, we have another now, and we have a smile marked across our faces when we look at another; this city has lost its mark on me.

How long can we fetch these words from our mouths?
If any moment we ever grasp the rope, we can stay tied for weeks upon years, not a shred of fear could ever truly move us.

We will be amazing, in our own cookbooks. You made me this way.

Faces vs Phases

I've determined the following things in a minutes time:
we can't lose;
we can't win either;

we breathe without being;
without reason, why are we being?

pretentious, pretending and cautious;
I love you.
you just don't know it;

under a silver sky, a crescent looks down on us,
ironically, it wants nothing more than to come down tonight.

all I want is to go down tonight;
with you in mind -
I can't do any better,

your faces vs your phases, we don't have the glare left;
all we have is brilliant displays of affection in front of this coffee shop
and you couldn't stand to be in there,
so instead; we shall sit and wait

if you are going to die someday, you have to live these days,
as we are decomposing; in periods, we become lesser versions of ourselves;

I will dance away honey, while bees chase me;
but as long as I am stuck to you, they can hurt me, but they will never get the best of me

so far, though still too close,
I come closer to closure, in knowing who you aren't

something these eyes love,
are staring back at it

your faces are all I want tonight

For Today

you will be perfect, I swear I can feel it coursing through my veins,
for today you will do more than just fine,
by tomorrow you will be more than just mine;

I have a glowing heart, rampantly disregarding my energetic needs for something fast;
you are something glorious,
for today, I have learned everything about you I needed to know

so we laid in your bed, and talked about things,
we held each other like we've never met before;

but we felt like growing up,
we held each other for hours on end;

we sat at the end of your bed, and talked about us
we held each other like we've met a hundred times before;

I am expanding my horizons, and saying goodbye to my past
I feel confident in what we are;
so glad I met you
these things I won't ever forget,

I wanted to sing you to sleep, but those words I so tiredly sang,
were everlasting
and from these trees, we fall under
we fall for today,
for today is greater than the previous

Rolling Into Flat Stones

I don't hear the sound anymore,
of the drums getting louder;
I only feel the reverb, growing on me.

I know a shockwave is coming, but I know I won't feel it at all.
I could catch a cold at a hundred miles per hour, but it won't affect me.

In this submission I make, I can grow up as I say all the time;
I don't know why I have this seasonal need -
to be lost fake and faded,
sugar coated lies,
these words we've hated

somewhere in the grass, we know we come along,
in days, we set hourly wages,
we have waited for the marching me, and they have never came,
we have waited for the train,
but it only wanted to stay.

I guess, it's so cliche to expect the best, but sometimes we stand still,
rolling into flat stones, we wait alone
some birds sing while others cry,
we love these lessons, we've earned a life
I want you, I feel you breaking into my heart,
hoping to steal it's contents;

it's elsewhere,
in a safe-house; located so far away I barely ever see it myself.
But if we believe, and look into mirrors to try to interpret our reflections,
we become more

we become heroes

My Perfect Victory

post this part, I listen to you but I can't hear you speak
you hit me a hundred times before I tried to hold you back
the siren's were red and blue and so were we
I wanted this to stop before it ever began, but my heart is anxious,
like the bird on my chest, it left early but never found it's way back home

and so now, I sit here, knowing who I have to be, and who I have to become;
all I want is love, something I'm afraid I will never have again
but I know I love fear through these eyes;
madly, deeply and true to you I was,
I knew it was just a matter of time

and you will know,
I left the light on for you,
you live in the darkness so you can't see what you're missing;
those roses died, and all but one will never see the light of day-
but it's so cold in that room.

and together, I can allow you to be happy on your own terms;
I miss my life I once had;

I'm just an empty void;
a few girls now want me to be their temporary write off;
and three days into it; they all give up; move on; meet someone without all the strings attached
someone who cares, who won't ever leave, who won't be me;
I'd like to know- what burns your fuel? Are you a jet that has stayed put, awaiting me to get on board with you to your unknown trip to the edge of the universe?

I just want to meet you;
I just want you to see -
the person you're afraid I'm going to be

and through these mad eyes, I'm still crying for someone to be the you I thought I had;
my perfect forever

Dead

Leave me here,
Farther in a grave you never saw me dig up
You're gone now, so cold and blue
Dead to me is dead to you,
Your hands grab for air, resisting to conceive that there is nothing there,
You danced away, with my melody and my gun pulled to my back
You have to be dead as you're just a ghost to me, of something that used to be
It's not the first time your eyes have rolled back,
Like clockwork every year its just not our time
So keep on ticking away, when no one is around, you can cause devastation to every man and woman standing at this station,
With a loss of words within a moments notice,
You won't care for details, you will just ask how it went when you get go hell,
You've killed everyone off who cared for you,
You're dead, because you killed yourself
I'm not schizophrenic, I'm just having a hard time believing you are real, from the looks of it, you're just a fake rolling off a factory line,
Just some guys production count that he never wanted to start
Shut down this machine, stop all the presses
We are all dead inside as we've given up the things that we once loved for some filth we will never give a fuck about

Last Summer of Romance

Did you think you were doing me a favor?
Or that maybe you could save me?
We can fight, the old you versus the new me,
You can't play a game missing all of its pieces, and I won't commit any piece to you,
You would be better off at the bottom of a cliff with your understandings that this was going to give you a big fucking smile,
It was your last summer of romance, as you broke through hearts with a dozen bullets,
I won't persist with attempts to give you a hotline,
My words to you were riddles your ears tried to put together,
But your mind is afraid to interpret;
So grow up, this will be my last romantic summer,
My next mission will be much easier,
Once you realize this truly is for you

You Can't Stop

You look at me, in vain from all these separated nights;
I'm so lost in your words, looking up always seemed like a waste of time,
And I saw you from across the room;
We were both so sheltered
In a heartbeat, you took away every word you ever said,
Truth be told, these hands we hold are kites undone, with ribbons pursuing the sky,
I'm out of a life,
You can stop everything now
I don't play games, I'm useless against your tactics,
Against your headboard, I'll hear you out
You can't stop, as we have become lifeless
Everything we've become, just a shudder in the terms we looked up for

Leavers Always Lose First/Losers Always Leave First

so into second intermission,
so impatient with ending our confessions,
we can't ever change with all of these dollar bills we'll never earn
just in case you thought you knew,
you had me held up with you stalling lines
"I just don't know if..."

games are not things I have time for,
let me interfere with your plan, you're just as good off if you just leave now
you'll never get love if you always throw it away

you'll get the lost one's biggest treasure, a heart modified for loving like no other,
don't fear for what you'll lose out on is this magnificent trailer home built from scrap metal,
but I can promise you better nights than the words you lose in fights,

so scream at me for taking you out of the game you set me up with two months ago,
you can't keep what you dreamed up, when you wake up it all vanishes.

this time around, I won't let you let me down, I'll keep you head up to the fan,
so I can hear you scream for me to stop the pain, at a level so much lower than where you put me
as you threw me up against the walls, with your legs around me, and lips dangling on mine,
I will never let this one down, I can keep up with those who've been waiting for a shot

you've kept your promises bleak and disappointing, as I promise to keep on leaving
I will look your way and pray for you to come around one day,
and I won't look back on you, leaver, non-believer, because true love was never love in the first place,
it was just me getting used as always,
we played patty cake on the simple fire that lit up nine hundred miles of lies

and I always walked to you, when you were on your way out, I knew you had nothing left to give,
except another lie, and we all know that's all you're good for, lying
face first into the pillow, screaming - stop hurting me;
oh, you are my heart, soul;
you are me.
As I have thrown the game to show the world how willing I was to lose you,
I've always been losing myself, but I'll never leave  

Hopeless Romantic

There are these elements to life I lose faith in

Like I'm sure you know, I'm not ready to be this broken,

Like others words, I just can't taste you
nothing without this who I am from you

Scary eyes and broken nights,
I felt like this was never what I needed it to be,

So call me out and tell me I'm worthless,
you'll never see this again and I'll know who lost,
I'm bound to your lies and I won't believe you again,

So where I find myself I know I'll be glad it won't be next to you,
the liar and whore you try to think that you aren't,
I refuse to believe you ever loved me

Start with how we ended and figure out how long we pretended

Such a loser you came to leave was two years ago,
when you met me in the corner and I'll never let you
forget how you felt that day,

Believe me, I'm going away because I don't care anymore,
when you stop calling, you stop caring -
so quick, be found out from many fish need these lies,
so wet from rain, they feel safe inside,
a destroyed shelter, I know where we will wind up,
far from here on out, I know you are missing,

As I hope to never know what it's like to feel lost in you again,
and dreams are unreal for me now -
they won't be that close to true again is it insanity that sparks craziness?
Or does He it leave it up to us the become other way around?

I'm just someones sand castle, so well built
abandoned and waiting for your recklessness,
to destroy me, kids at bay arrive and wait to play,
and while we wait for the sun to set, your lunar pull on me awaits these sunsets to make it's presence known,

Oh how I plan to be your last impression,
your last everything,
how I know damn well I was never meant to be your forever after,
so rip me a new broken heart

-Originally written on paper, while slightly intoxicated and in cursive. Check out the image here
Poem on paper, double sided.

A Desolate Soldier

You could've lied at any moment,
Or laid there in the middle of my thoughts,
Instead you stuck around to make sure I'd be ok, while you got ready to leave (me behind)
So goodnight, girl;
I could be next to you, and that still wouldn't be close enough
(I could die right here and you'd never know)
So bless these drunken thoughts, I'm right where I met you
You've been hiding from these loving eyes
I need you this time
I'm on the brink of a break down

I've been looking for you,
the angel that saved me from darkness
like a soldier on the battlefield
who's brother needed their love

I'll never die, if you're around
since I noticed your presence,
I knew I could make it out alive
and I won't ever ask you for another thing
as long as we both shall live,
except just stand tall and next to me

as I bleed out,
I know I will see you again

A Former Sense of Security

What ties me down? Am I limitless without gravity?
Having you here, finally, I've found the person we never knew

What lies have we found? Are we everlasting without property?
Having you there, finally, I've gained the person I was afraid to find

Who's worth it in the end? Someone amazing, maybe? Someone able to make each day pass without effort?

Discovering who I can be found me lost in your eyes,
This time away from you has only shown me unknowing strength
And its him babe, and I know its for the best

When the best side of me met the worst side of you,
I knew that my former sense of security has nothing on how strong you are

User of None

Retract me, as blades cut through these lines,
Keep me warm, silver spoon,
Just this morning, I woke up this afternoon
As dawn falls to morning,
I'll keep this
Believe the lie you love to be, the liar inside so forced to see,
My heart has no intentions, of being left alone
And if you take me, than don't let go,
I want you to feel loved again, and not through guessing
Because second guesses or second chances, kill us in the end
So if you want this complication, the come take me from the dead,
Hold on babe, you're spinning around my head
I'll bleed out from these eyes, with words I want to say,
I'm falling in love,
And I'm afraid you won't be there to catch me,
I'm falling to death,
And I know you're waiting for me to get scared (but babe, I ain't no bitch, and I'm not afraid of the consequences)
Cause all I want is you

Of the Same Way You Cross Lips

Cute girl, something more than just and unjustified, let me keep you;
This is lust in your eyes, but I see nothing less
The girl over there screamed save me, and so I came to; opened my eyes like 12 packs of blue moon,
I won't waste a drop of you (so don't drop the ball)

Cute girl, but with him in your life.
You complicated things, in ways so much better than I could count on (so I am running low)

I'm the one, who in theory could do no wrong (other than let you go)

Someone save me, I thought I had it all,
But none of it was mine;
As you stay in lust with flirting with me, I just want you to love me (oh, eventually)

You're what I can handle, girl
With my hands around your hips,
I pull you closer and say I love you, just like we cross lips
And disturbed you blow me up, like sinking ships
I'm sinking, I'm hoping, that you will let me take his spot

It's your sure that complete this broken man
Just like the way you cross lips, tongue in cheek
I'll be your flavor forever, not just for the week

Dreamscape, Just in Case

Don't just cave in, you're (not) a sorry wreck,
She says, look away, I can hear them coming to get you,
Oh, dear how much holding you fixes me
Insanity is the cure to everything, he says, and just how insane I want to be,
I can only feel crazy if I let you go;
Maybe I should say, I'm falling
Maybe I should mention, I'm failing
Your phone calls are like car alarms (I just want to run, and make sure you're still ok)
Who am I to be a thief?
Your eyes are like tires, so tired of looking, going, searching in all the wrong places
Oh how many nights I've laid alone, in this bed, wishing you were here just next to me
We can walk around the park,
And I'll take you back to my dreamscape, just in case you know
How many tears I've lost in prayers

I (Don't Want to) Lose You

Oh pull me
Oh pull me, in...
Let's make believe,
That you won't leave;
You're a beautiful girl
Close your eyes,
Pray for this,
When the oceans subdue
Or forever folds over
You can see,
Underneath, swims a man,
Who has an empty mantle,
My only sin was your impression,
I'm not going wasted, you're afraid
I'm missing,
I've missed you,
Hope for this,
When? Now.
As my eyes reveal,
She's amazing, maybe almost nothing that has anxieties
Compares to this weather,
I don't want to miss out on you
So don't run,
I don't want to lose you, although you're not mine
Oh pull me,
Pull me closer,
Me closer now,
Closer now farther;
I will hold you,
As you cry, as you smile, as you do
I can't contain myself;
I want to have you

She's Amazing Man

Given the moment, I'd sky dive into the deepest oceans,
With the pressure you're under, I don't know how you live (breathe)
Beaten by the punch, the man at the time clock doesn't know if he's coming or going (starting this, I'll help you end it)
The sweetest words I would love to say,
So loud it hits your ears, but leaves a mark on your heart,
In the heat, I'd make (it) out with you, oh I would rip you to pieces, like a proceedure perfectly manicured,
Hand made, in clay I'll spin you alive
So scream, scream, (whisper, I love the way you make me love me)
I love the way you find me at the bottom and your plan is to save me (I'll sit here at your bottom and let it ride, my mouth says you have words of nerve, and words of steel)
I want to steal you, and let this save your life and prevent all of your pain (I'm under the impression you're happy; without it)
Believe I'd die at his hands before I let you die in his arms
With all you have left to discover, these oceans (of words) are so deep you can barely breathe (let alone live)
Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue
Don't let death grab us (because I'm vulnerable)
Who do you think you are?
I'm underneath you, knowing you can see, a man like me ready to be
Ready to be, so much happier than you are willing to let (too bad, too bad)
I'm so amazed by the way your lips move, and I can't hear a thing

Panic In Losing Love Still

Depending on you, I'm fucked now
inside, you took it all away from me in forms of white pills
and told me I cannot live like this anymore;
I'll throw it in your face

waiting alone inside, the corridors swing
the birds sing songs of death, my ears start to ring
and I cannot tell you how much you mean to me

on these tree branches,
I keep kissing myself to sleep
never looking back, but looking down
this just won't do

how can I hold myself together when I am not?
I keep losing you, in sleep or in pills,
as I am addicted to taking you when I feel lost in myself;
someone as beautiful as this should not be so dead inside

if I could, I would show you everything I believe in,
if I would, I could show you who I am,

but you are not to love me, as I am the kind you needed
four years ago,
and these years have yearned long nights with infinite tears
so I die, in these orange bottles,
I'd rather be lonely in my senseless mind of being than being accompanied

you're so deaf to me,
you're so dear to me,
you're so dead to me,
I'm learning as I go how close I can cut it with out bleeding out,
(my skin is not thick by any means)

as I loved you, I can't keep myself from feeling like a dying star,
when I explode, I won't kill you, I will pull you in
I will pull you closer than you hope
and leave you watching the rope

Ghosts of Eleven Kinds

go everywhere kid, she said,
go down so far you can hear the rivers starting to flow

go everywhere kid, she said,
through the rivers, you can find what you are missing

go everywhere kid, she said,
I'm nowhere and I hope you can carry me there

go everywhere kid, she said,
you're just a law and I hate to break you down

go everywhere kid, she said,
stay the hell out of my way, I'm afraid of people like you

go alone, get out of dodge,
here; everything amazes, there has every regret

ran through every barren street with the bleeding feet,
under my nose runs rivers of blood, as I need not to smell you
I cried for these days you've wasted, and question our time lost
if I ever mattered, you never would've done this

go everywhere kid, she said,
I'm hoping like hell you'll stay out of my way, I'm petrified of your life

constantly ordered, rest ever young,
you just know not how lucky you truly are

bleed eyes second days, broken bats with corners missing from these rounded surfaces
blind ears see not your perspective you try to force me to face,
your life is a lie, as far as I am ever concerned, if you were ever concerned,
torn to believe, that these tears roll down my cheeks, where your lips should be

new woman with such a beautiful face,
I want to love you, I'm just petrified of falling for you if you have no clockwork in shape for me,
and in this shape, I need some classic fixing up
I need some of your words to touch me until I can't feel again

get away girl, you ruined everything,
ghosts of eleven kinds, my heart is supported by your key

go everywhere kid, she said,
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love these lies

keep calling, you're the reason I love losing sleep

Any Deserving Nightmare

For your hazel blue eyes, what was there is dead and gone
For your oceanic blue eyes, the past has come back with a bat in its hand to rip tides into your soulless being,

Hate me for fucking this one up, throw all the China at me and cut me to pieces, I don't give a shit anymore,
Abandoned the way you've always wanted, these lines progress to fade into the streams that move in,
I'll move on (again and again)

I know you and all the lies you fed me, did I look starving?
Fuck I must've looked pathetic walking through those storms to have you looking at my back,
Seems like he has you back, but you're just a casket.

Killed off like a true victim,
Your lies stole sweet venom from me, for leaving me I won't ever be back or give a damn, so row your own boat, you don't want me, you want pathetic nights with someone who learned while you were born,
You'd never see these symbolic shadows, you'll burn your captcha as I capture your life in a phrase,

You're a fake, and she's long gone, I'm a liar and I'll always say I don't want this

This Is Not An Average/Tina Alright

mixed drinks leaving airlines broken dreams different views

left this way right side different views

broken mirrors second hand smoke leaving airplanes different times

your synchronization is broken left without

this is not an average way of thinking,
it's the worst way of being
you should have stayed the night
and began to begin this fight

you insist it's love with him
I insist it's beginning to begin with me

slept over, hung over, hung out,
nothing-ness
despair in despite of these words we say
you hate me again, starting last night

decide your eyes, reflect your intentions,
no matter how intense they may get
make me girl,
break me girl,
make me who I longed to be
and then leave me at the alter, (my heart in your hands)

in a moment, you shaded my arm in sleeves, with memories of
who I'm glad I'll never have to be again
so far away, you'll be fucked in heart and soul,
this is not an average start, it's a typical way to sleep in a car,
naked on top of each other; with no intentions to be who we always thought we'd be

This Stress

Somehow numb from all the stress;
How many lies have I heard from you?
Confirmed, I know who you really are
I disregard every word you say, as you say, I'm broken, its too late

Don't let my past cause you riddles,
Don't disect my life, don't break me down again

You are every single thing I ever hoped for, when I noticed you, I found the world (I found it) in you

Petrified of what I am, no monsters hide in my soul
So endure me as I have your tall tales of short days

What Lies Between.

You've seen my ghosts, you've danced in circles, so do as you wish,
Dream up a new world,
Pray for this, hope for this, whatever it is
What lies between us are broken glasses and fragile hearts
So you should've known better
But eyes lead on, into the soul
Away you wear your visionary supplements to complement who I'll show you I'd hardly become, if became ever shows
Thrill her with your glass stained lies, or how you're into too much shit sin stories,
Ignite the flames that flare up on what I will ignite instead of or in place of love
Between, lies you.
Oh four, how much more are you than nine or less than three?
Murder, she wrote, murder he screams,
Your shallow gallows swallow another life,
How deemed will unredeemable be when there is this little left to see?
Your stories daily take her away from me,
Into the depths of a broken heart, I'll go, in chance the face of love may show,
The pioneers never came home,
Hidden from views of the love, the mines shower gold, in your arms I'll stay in hold, nothing for the world burning down
Your feet are the branches to the room you envy,
Six years, three years, two years, none,
This life won't go wasted if I will blast out profanities, words like those? I need these.
Die for this, what lies between depress these eye lids, so break me lover, my hearts not available to break
Break these lines that cut rust from small knives
Destroy me so I can hope we meet in different lives,
And forever knows what lies between us, is your eyes for someone else's sins

Forever Destroyed

Until next hour, I will keep saying these things you'd hate to hear,
I will keep my heart strings around your voice,
I'm strung to on how you want to give up

Now I'm destroyed by the loss of your words at my sight
So dream something fucked up,
I'll keep you here until you hear your way out,
Nothing, oh shall I say, I destroyed this myself the moment I let you come into my life,

So will you keep on forging your path around his town one drink at a time?

You've taken too much of what you should've had, when you stopped talking

So fix me baby, I'm destined for a life where I'm always getting destroyed.

Sincerely

What is it about me, that always winds up this way?
How many times can I fade away?
I'm gone, so far away
In this life, I lose everything I have,
Broken by you
I hope to regain
These words you say, are not everlasting,
My vote of confidence has become
Nothing but a joke to you
What happened?
These dreams are fading for you
These illusions keep dreaming of you

How Come Everything Seems to Me Like Everything It Shouldn't Be?

lost
a child blinded by the starlight
forgotten
every dream we ever had destroyed

we have every resource at our hands
when it comes to this, reach for my hands,
and pull me out of this rut
you said I'm slowly getting my pieces back together

pull me out of this rut

I love pain, it's my addiction
that's what a friend once told me
I try too hard,
all I want is the results

you leave when it's time,
but you never left here

where is the circle at, that I once placed in my mind?
I began this shadow, in hopes you would see what's coming next
I'm not afraid to begin again,
I'm afraid to end it all

you bleed me dry
say there's nothing left out there that can hurt me
as you have; there is nothing

what is empty?
a ceiling or dry wall?
throw some color into it, and suddenly, it's home

what is everything?
a collection of what is relevant at the time?
a phrase we use to get us past a moment?
when I say you are my everything, it's not just a lie,
or ever just a word,
it's you that gets me beyond getting by

I try too hard, and press too hard,
I don't want to push you away
farther, away than I already have
you look at me with closed eyes,
a saturation of what you think I am trying to be

with closed eyes and an open heart,
there is so much to see

how come everything seems to me like everything it shouldn't be?
will I play the character in your movie today, and not end up in the final cut?
where is the sky that I look up to?
you led me out in time to sing out loud one ridiculous line

on this train, you left me hanging
when I wanted to see you
you just wanted to leave

Life on the Railway, When Bridges Collapse

Everything here is golden, every day here was wasted in the same manner that we had predicted, and yes we  fell for each of our faults
Girl
We feel like we never fell in the dark
We never landed where we thought we were.

A new day is coming, a new day is bending these walls and cracks are spreading these tips around the stench of what has decayed,
Where white lines served you, your powder will never phase me,

I've been cut out of your magazine and thrown in to your hopes and dreams, but what it cuts out to is you never understood me and the things I need, you're bad, bad news
And with this fire I will start to wrap up our desires girl

Like the hottest ash, or the hottest ass, you stood there and waited for me, you were wrong, you said, you were never him and I'll never be who you needed me to be

When you collapse, nobody will be there to catch you, you started a fire that you though could be, a shallow attempt at fixing me

There you go, once again lying to my face playing pretend, I can see right through your beautiful lies

Blessed by Distortion, Undressed by Importance

Watching my back, I'm watching it wither away, with welts the length of the small, I keep running from you
Yet today will be different eventually, what about tomorrow?
Where paths are not only crossed, but crossed out, you thatch my kind strokes against the side I'm on
Work for work, due to this, you work for hurt, because you could never really stand that place,
Gravity failed you, when you let me fly, I drifted down rivers that lead me into an office with requests to donate my eyes in hope I could see where you were leading me onto, into this bed, to be the only victim murdered by your tactical way of pulling through piles of burning lies, in accordance to burning lives, all books that dictate and demand direction are always falling under us
Our selfish nothings won't succeed until forever ends

I Hope Well Will Do (I Hope We Will Do This)

I get out a Lincoln, and say goodbye
Your ice cream won't be held for a few,
My spoons will be unoffered as you are conquered, in a land of boats
I'm laid up here in a jungle of useless memories that attack rust at every biten corner,
I don't want this girl, I would love it though
How well will you be willing to hope for?  Hear, there, you are everywhere when I close my eyes and open my fists, you keep me strung up with out wires, your eyes are constant devices for continuous reminders,
The entire universe is in balance
You remind me that I need to do well,
Well I will do well when you will be willing to see the well outside your bedroom window

This Horrible Weather Will Heat Her Up

So close you can barely breathe,
With eyes so blind you can barely see,
We've scratched the surface
Revealed all but one,
This collision of ends have just begun,
So show me the grand tour, and take me girl through this man's funeral,
I have signed a new lease, with my heart on a new beat,
Sang through an empty street
I watched eyes sing sorry in rhythms with no beat

I can't begin to tell you how happy I am for you, like two wet hands together from dried glue,
Move on and on until we see, these hands bled out impatiently for me,
When I dive I fly girl, like a fish with wings I can be all world,
Give you a full tilt and move through your soul like a sword with a new hilt,
Your heart is free of guilt, sand paper destroyed emotions through swift and abrasive motions,
Heat her up girl and save me the drag, I hold forward direct film of past tense days with fire ablaze, I stare stick and amazed, its been just a number of days and I could sleep again

The Girl Over There

it's not what you have, it's what you had before
it's a style you are trying to perfect, by lighting up
burn out your lungs girl, because you won't ever be happy,
you allow this to ignite and burn down this city,
we all stare at you with ridiculous smiles that never fade away

you're fake and useless, can't allow room for anything
like a rocket with out a crew,
you don't know what you are doing

so tell me how you can't do nothing, and how everything is easier
and ask me what I should do to make it easier,
you are one of these girls that breaks hearts,
well I am not going to let you continue to do this to me,
that girl over there is more than happy to take your spot,
like a number in line, maybe she will not treat me like I never mattered

you grow up, and get old,
you get tired, and start to pretend life is such an amazing thing,
I hate feeling like I should flaunt how much better off you were,

you thought you could walk away without scars?
I've been torn to pieces at your own hands,
you will see everything you could have had,
you won't look me in the eyes next time and say you're talking to him,

you'll look away and wish away all the mistakes you've made,
and I won't be the one looking for a way out
because the girl over there noticed where I was

Aftermath

A dream too late
I walk through empty streets knowing you're not here

In your words I say I need space,
You broke a promise

A break to save me,
A car couldn't stop for me,
I broke way to see you

I'm not occupied, I'm vacant,
Girl you owe me so much for this one

The aftermath looks dead and dreary,
After all the times you said you'd never leave,
You walked away

When I Realized

I started working on this about 4 months ago...

When I woke up today, all I wanted to say was I love you
Oh I love you,

For everything you do that makes me smile, it makes me free,
I know now you'd never leave my side, you'd never let me feel less important

When I realized you were the one for me, it set me free, it made me feel, like the machines in this place can't pull us apart

Could you pull this apart?
Would anything change how you felt the day you said goodbye, when you said I can't do this?

You set me free, you said go away,
But I'm here to stay, for my love for you is not temporary or wearing thin,
Let me in, let me in, let me free, so I can run with our love and we can fly like kites until the end of time,

When I sleep I dream of you, and when I pray, I think of you, and ask how could it be this way, that you could ever feel to say, goodbye, goodbye,

You let me be, the man I needed to be, but I'm broken and though your blind eyes you can't see, that I'm still the same man I was back then, and if I could do it, I'd do again, so I could feel your lips on mine because they set me free, they set me free, they set me free

When I realized you were gone I asked myself what have I done
I can still feel you in my heart,

Hills are Harder to Climb than Mountains

Enter the room built just for you
fade,
destroy,
escape
It's just a trap baby, it always was
you weren't ever meant to leave here,
fall,
tangled into knots
It's not a trip baby, it's just you
I want to see you consciously decide whats proper
I never understood what you wanted of me, until you ripped it out of me
I believe in what we have, I know it is just being sidelined, and hasn't been buried
these hills are harder to climb, trust me, I've been the shoes once or twice before
it looks so easy from far away, but gravity is relentless and begins to put everything
down onto your shoulders as you embrace what you thought was a simple task

from far away, you look so frightful, like someone took your humanity and threw it away
I never understood women and their little quirks like this,
I always knew you, from the day I met you

Enter the cave made naturally,
it's God's will to make you see what you need in life
some space and appreciation
fade,
rebuild,
reenter
It's not just a trap girl, it's meant to be
It's not just real love girl, it's everything more
we have moved mountains together
we have created the most beautiful life together,
and I have based my life around your needs

But what if you need me to not be in your life for a little bit longer?
Struggling through the tears, I saw someone in more pain than me,
and realized I'm not the only hurting in this
for you, I'll do anything,
I don't just love you, I'm still in love with you
I'd move a planet for you
until I rupture myself, just to make you see what kind of man I truly am
no I am not a God, but I am one to be your forever after

if I died right now, you'd never know
but at least you could believe,
I did it all for you, and I'd do it again
endure,
conquer,
live
for you, my life is coming around the next corner, in hopes your embrace awaits
I'll cherish this moment, I swear,
from now on, it's going to never stop, I'll never give up on you, even if you already have,
I believe you are the reason why I am still here on this planet, and she is why I am grateful

you are my angel, I know God sent you to us
I know you are the most beautiful thing on this planet,
I'll build a home for you, I'll make your life full
you have your whole life ahead of you and I want to be the father you'll always love
and the only one you'll ever need
you have the most beautiful smile, I swear it makes me cry
when I think about how much I miss you,
believe,
hope,
faith
and today I will make tomorrow your smiles turn to gold
I will make you believe

I built all these mountains in hope you'll conquer everything put in your path
you have everything in front of you,
we have purpose together,

I love you


For Jessica and Chloe

Let Our Veins Explode

I see fake people everywhere I look,
Does that make me insane?
We thought we built our love with Adobe, turns out it was just mud not properly placed
So let our veins explode in love or hate
As I'm kicking these monsters out, I'm just hoping you let me back in.

Yet as we stare at yellow lines, face down on the table, I invested my heart and soul into you
But despite my belief in you, you cashed out on me, as I crashed face first onto someone else's dashboard

You are ironic, saying you want happiness
I am ironic, saying I hope you come to realize everything I am
Let our veins explode
In tears, or happiness

You can be happy, you are everything I want to be
Let's go back to black Friday, as we stood in the freezing cold, just holding onto eachother.

I've run low on rivers, There are no fish to catch on these seas, I've got my eyes on you

Let our veins explode all over our syndication or indication, this is only our first chapter, even if its the second book

carry me (neverletgo)

You are the sunrise, right before the storm, your words like cyclones are just hitting home, I could flood the streets just from this, and hope you would carry me

You sit down next to me and say things will be fine, you lay awake saying you can't be mine
You once said you'd never let go, but I think you were a different version of the person you are

In a midnight attempt, I call to say goodbye, instead I ask for you
How am I supposed to be a strong reliable man, when my last block keeping me up is taken away without consideration?

You are the hope I have for my life carry me, and never let go
Last time you said you didn't want this, our lives together started.
Carry me,  and never let go.

113215

You are the worlds best everything
You have a way with me, because you can
You make me feel much more than a man, you make me feel alive inside
You are my world, she is my universe
Beaten down by what you need, my thick skin sheds away.
It's eating me like cancer
But I love every moment I have to cherish with you
Meet me in montauk, I'll be the one with your name written in ink more permanent than life
Maybe you can catch me stare in to your covered eyes, and find fluorescent patterns in your beautiful smile
You are persistent, like the tides as they steal our names from the leaves, I sit here in 113 looking for something to hold onto that makes me feel half as alive as you
My life with you was too quickly faded as the alarm clock flares,
And the words on my chest are painful as I stare into your eyes, and know its me that's waiting for sunlight to approach your veins

Wish - Pointing The Hole In The Sky

storm the grounds, mad as cows, diseased, and ready to die
enjoy every second of it, as this is truly our last shot at being everything
becoming our whole hearted ghosts.
you say we are so much more than flesh and bone,
we are so much less than gifts
we are barely donations

looking for something to answer all of the questions that you raise
my nerves never felt so isolated
so something familiar found its way through the fair grounds
I bleed in line with your queue path
looking down on myself,
I feel quaint and ire that I have become a subject of my own losses
every battle fight is lost - it must be my french blood line
through every path we walk we look at the same sky asking for answers

my mirrors don't reflect the same person I know I am
I feel lost and weightless
we died here on the same place we saved our selves

you push me far away, I just wish you'd pull me closer
my death is to be found restlessly undiscovered at present time though my soul
embodies everything that I put my useless fingers on
though you may wish for hope,
you can only hope for a miracle
so I shoot right past you and pray for your life to change
as a mess I find myself quite organized in a situation where I am ready for sleep

I am afraid you have tried to mine more gold than I have
hoping you'd find yourself some kind of fortune
all that I can give you is gravel
as light has never seen this time, walk through streets of detailed destruction
become of us what has become of this city,
well placed, put together and functioning.
but what if you leave?

This is Death, Oh Sun, Dance Us Away

where we phase into some form of guilt
oh sun, dance us into a different stage of being
who cares anyway? aren't we all just ghosts?
some form of illusion painted by someone else's brush?
why are the bristles stuck on the canvas?
our portrait was painted in pain.

if I could make you something you want to be, I would
I am wounded, with scars so deep, you can see my fear
you are gone, I am only hoping to save a breath.
capture the moment you left, and hold it in place.
something tells, describes to me, that this is death,
and worse than life itself, never ending, everlasting
infinity is four and less than three
we are three now.

who watches the clouds fall from the sky?
why is there nobody to pick up my feet, as I try to find myself?

Think of It as You

I believed in this relationship between you and I
as more than some short fling that could fall apart over anything
I choked back tears and held back fears and gave it my all
I look in your direction with a sense of accomplishment
this is just like you

I felt so much stronger
and you broke me down, you tore it out of me
you gave up everything you wanted
you said this was worth it

and now you feel so much worse
than I could ever hope for, and I'm sorry, I just can't make more
I give you everything that I can, but at the bottom of the pot
theres hardly anything left

I give and you take, you give and I never noticed before
how much this is, so much more
you are everything I could have ever wanted
if I ever wanted anything at all

this week in June, it feels so soon
this year in life, time goes by
and all I ever wanted
was nothing I could ever have dreamed of

vividly and wildly you sing me to sleep
I risk it all every night for you
and if you don't believe me
think of it as you

Mostly, Dreams Don't Come True

In days, life changes faster than you can count
we pace the corridors, hoping for progress,
rushing the horses out of the gates, maybe they should not
forgive the trees for the sap that leaks out, after all, who can one be to control it?
the parasites are digging up all the dirty tricks in the evening news, and my story is left out
maybe for some, a true guess at what was said was, a shot in the dark, in the mid noon sun
after shorting a long whiles misguided walk, a one sided conversation is easier to find than a double eagle
most days end up the same, while one night sessions in a local bar with my head against a bottle is less recurring than most likely necessary, may I pray for a rain cloud in this overheated death ray of a day
I do not ever change fast enough for the machine, returns are finding their way back in line again the line a man sets out on a table,
in fear I walk through the flames that lick at my lungs, with soot and a feeling of fresh air, my dying test of madness asks me to make an ass of myself, so curiously, I remain hidden in a fortress made of hair dryers and false teeth, maybe for the fact that the one and only true thing is the missing heart, then we know retirement from a present day more human than one can believe profession has stranded me heartless and confessing my only true secret,
that my only daunting task now is to turn back all the clocks and remove the nails, to clean up the decisions I've made, and realize that dreams don't come true

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I am in a different state of mind than usual, and I hope this challenges what some people call and consider mind altering, because if it makes sense to many people, than I know many people are losing it.