When I Realized

I started working on this about 4 months ago...

When I woke up today, all I wanted to say was I love you
Oh I love you,

For everything you do that makes me smile, it makes me free,
I know now you'd never leave my side, you'd never let me feel less important

When I realized you were the one for me, it set me free, it made me feel, like the machines in this place can't pull us apart

Could you pull this apart?
Would anything change how you felt the day you said goodbye, when you said I can't do this?

You set me free, you said go away,
But I'm here to stay, for my love for you is not temporary or wearing thin,
Let me in, let me in, let me free, so I can run with our love and we can fly like kites until the end of time,

When I sleep I dream of you, and when I pray, I think of you, and ask how could it be this way, that you could ever feel to say, goodbye, goodbye,

You let me be, the man I needed to be, but I'm broken and though your blind eyes you can't see, that I'm still the same man I was back then, and if I could do it, I'd do again, so I could feel your lips on mine because they set me free, they set me free, they set me free

When I realized you were gone I asked myself what have I done
I can still feel you in my heart,

Hills are Harder to Climb than Mountains

Enter the room built just for you
fade,
destroy,
escape
It's just a trap baby, it always was
you weren't ever meant to leave here,
fall,
tangled into knots
It's not a trip baby, it's just you
I want to see you consciously decide whats proper
I never understood what you wanted of me, until you ripped it out of me
I believe in what we have, I know it is just being sidelined, and hasn't been buried
these hills are harder to climb, trust me, I've been the shoes once or twice before
it looks so easy from far away, but gravity is relentless and begins to put everything
down onto your shoulders as you embrace what you thought was a simple task

from far away, you look so frightful, like someone took your humanity and threw it away
I never understood women and their little quirks like this,
I always knew you, from the day I met you

Enter the cave made naturally,
it's God's will to make you see what you need in life
some space and appreciation
fade,
rebuild,
reenter
It's not just a trap girl, it's meant to be
It's not just real love girl, it's everything more
we have moved mountains together
we have created the most beautiful life together,
and I have based my life around your needs

But what if you need me to not be in your life for a little bit longer?
Struggling through the tears, I saw someone in more pain than me,
and realized I'm not the only hurting in this
for you, I'll do anything,
I don't just love you, I'm still in love with you
I'd move a planet for you
until I rupture myself, just to make you see what kind of man I truly am
no I am not a God, but I am one to be your forever after

if I died right now, you'd never know
but at least you could believe,
I did it all for you, and I'd do it again
endure,
conquer,
live
for you, my life is coming around the next corner, in hopes your embrace awaits
I'll cherish this moment, I swear,
from now on, it's going to never stop, I'll never give up on you, even if you already have,
I believe you are the reason why I am still here on this planet, and she is why I am grateful

you are my angel, I know God sent you to us
I know you are the most beautiful thing on this planet,
I'll build a home for you, I'll make your life full
you have your whole life ahead of you and I want to be the father you'll always love
and the only one you'll ever need
you have the most beautiful smile, I swear it makes me cry
when I think about how much I miss you,
believe,
hope,
faith
and today I will make tomorrow your smiles turn to gold
I will make you believe

I built all these mountains in hope you'll conquer everything put in your path
you have everything in front of you,
we have purpose together,

I love you


For Jessica and Chloe

Let Our Veins Explode

I see fake people everywhere I look,
Does that make me insane?
We thought we built our love with Adobe, turns out it was just mud not properly placed
So let our veins explode in love or hate
As I'm kicking these monsters out, I'm just hoping you let me back in.

Yet as we stare at yellow lines, face down on the table, I invested my heart and soul into you
But despite my belief in you, you cashed out on me, as I crashed face first onto someone else's dashboard

You are ironic, saying you want happiness
I am ironic, saying I hope you come to realize everything I am
Let our veins explode
In tears, or happiness

You can be happy, you are everything I want to be
Let's go back to black Friday, as we stood in the freezing cold, just holding onto eachother.

I've run low on rivers, There are no fish to catch on these seas, I've got my eyes on you

Let our veins explode all over our syndication or indication, this is only our first chapter, even if its the second book

carry me (neverletgo)

You are the sunrise, right before the storm, your words like cyclones are just hitting home, I could flood the streets just from this, and hope you would carry me

You sit down next to me and say things will be fine, you lay awake saying you can't be mine
You once said you'd never let go, but I think you were a different version of the person you are

In a midnight attempt, I call to say goodbye, instead I ask for you
How am I supposed to be a strong reliable man, when my last block keeping me up is taken away without consideration?

You are the hope I have for my life carry me, and never let go
Last time you said you didn't want this, our lives together started.
Carry me,  and never let go.

113215

You are the worlds best everything
You have a way with me, because you can
You make me feel much more than a man, you make me feel alive inside
You are my world, she is my universe
Beaten down by what you need, my thick skin sheds away.
It's eating me like cancer
But I love every moment I have to cherish with you
Meet me in montauk, I'll be the one with your name written in ink more permanent than life
Maybe you can catch me stare in to your covered eyes, and find fluorescent patterns in your beautiful smile
You are persistent, like the tides as they steal our names from the leaves, I sit here in 113 looking for something to hold onto that makes me feel half as alive as you
My life with you was too quickly faded as the alarm clock flares,
And the words on my chest are painful as I stare into your eyes, and know its me that's waiting for sunlight to approach your veins

Wish - Pointing The Hole In The Sky

storm the grounds, mad as cows, diseased, and ready to die
enjoy every second of it, as this is truly our last shot at being everything
becoming our whole hearted ghosts.
you say we are so much more than flesh and bone,
we are so much less than gifts
we are barely donations

looking for something to answer all of the questions that you raise
my nerves never felt so isolated
so something familiar found its way through the fair grounds
I bleed in line with your queue path
looking down on myself,
I feel quaint and ire that I have become a subject of my own losses
every battle fight is lost - it must be my french blood line
through every path we walk we look at the same sky asking for answers

my mirrors don't reflect the same person I know I am
I feel lost and weightless
we died here on the same place we saved our selves

you push me far away, I just wish you'd pull me closer
my death is to be found restlessly undiscovered at present time though my soul
embodies everything that I put my useless fingers on
though you may wish for hope,
you can only hope for a miracle
so I shoot right past you and pray for your life to change
as a mess I find myself quite organized in a situation where I am ready for sleep

I am afraid you have tried to mine more gold than I have
hoping you'd find yourself some kind of fortune
all that I can give you is gravel
as light has never seen this time, walk through streets of detailed destruction
become of us what has become of this city,
well placed, put together and functioning.
but what if you leave?

This is Death, Oh Sun, Dance Us Away

where we phase into some form of guilt
oh sun, dance us into a different stage of being
who cares anyway? aren't we all just ghosts?
some form of illusion painted by someone else's brush?
why are the bristles stuck on the canvas?
our portrait was painted in pain.

if I could make you something you want to be, I would
I am wounded, with scars so deep, you can see my fear
you are gone, I am only hoping to save a breath.
capture the moment you left, and hold it in place.
something tells, describes to me, that this is death,
and worse than life itself, never ending, everlasting
infinity is four and less than three
we are three now.

who watches the clouds fall from the sky?
why is there nobody to pick up my feet, as I try to find myself?

Think of It as You

I believed in this relationship between you and I
as more than some short fling that could fall apart over anything
I choked back tears and held back fears and gave it my all
I look in your direction with a sense of accomplishment
this is just like you

I felt so much stronger
and you broke me down, you tore it out of me
you gave up everything you wanted
you said this was worth it

and now you feel so much worse
than I could ever hope for, and I'm sorry, I just can't make more
I give you everything that I can, but at the bottom of the pot
theres hardly anything left

I give and you take, you give and I never noticed before
how much this is, so much more
you are everything I could have ever wanted
if I ever wanted anything at all

this week in June, it feels so soon
this year in life, time goes by
and all I ever wanted
was nothing I could ever have dreamed of

vividly and wildly you sing me to sleep
I risk it all every night for you
and if you don't believe me
think of it as you